Palliative care at home, can be a difficult conversation to broach with a loved one. And that’s why this month, organisations and communities all over the country will come together to encourage discussion on one of the most complex topics in our lives: death.

Palliative care, dying, bereavement, and grief all underpin Dying Matters Awareness Week 2022, is taking place from 2nd – 6th May. The initiative aims to get us asking the big questions around death with those closest to us. To ensure that families and loved ones plan and agree on healthcare systems for end of life care, and to have the best emotional and practical support available when we die.

Why do we find it hard to talk about death?

The uncertainty that death represents makes it a painful issue to tackle. There are so many unknowns that come with the finality of death. We also fear the trauma it will bring for our loved ones.

Worries around financial orders – have we done all the right things? Will the family respond well to our decisions? The guilt in reminding our loved ones of death, as well as asking them to carry out particular wishes whilst navigating distressing circumstances.

Dying Matters Awareness Week 2022 aims to create a more open culture on matters of dying. It promotes the importance of speaking about death with our loved ones. To plan for death as best we can and be in a ‘good place’ when we die. It aims to remove the taboo around something that is a natural and inevitable part of life. Discussing options around palliative care at home in particular can be a difficult subject.

We will all at some point find ourselves having to prepare our families and ourselves in the best way that we can. That’s why it’s better to raise these issues sooner rather than later. To talk about your wishes might be hard, but it’s the best way to ensure that everything you would want to happen takes place in the smoothest way possible.

Understanding your loved one’s wishes should they become incapacitated is a fundamental question. How would they like to be cared for? And importantly, how do they envision their care towards the end of their life?

What is possible, and what would make them most happy?

Hospice UK advise: “Whoever starts the conversation, and however they do it, they never find it as challenging as they feared, and they always feel better for having got talking.”

There are many things to consider; not just who your power of attorney might be, or your last will and testimony. There are memories to collect. Valuable family stories. Questions never asked. How would they like to be remembered?

Having those early conversations on end of life matters can help settle family issues in advance. Setting expectations on things like palliative care at home, probate matters and funeral arrangements. Reducing uncertainty and instead giving purpose and direction in a challenging time.

It can be comforting to know that a loved one’s wishes are being carried out and this can help get a family through a distressing time.